How much do you really like fishing? What’s the longest you think could go without?

Do you think that if you quit fishing, you would just live your life like nothing happened? Is it really that important to you, or do you just do it for fun? If somebody told you that you could not go fishing anymore, what would you do?

Now for most of you this is conjecture, it is not a situation you have been faced with, and you possibly never will. But on Aug. 10, 2023, I suffered a stroke.

At this point, I can hardly move my right hand at all, and I have limited mobility of my right arm. My core muscles don’t work very well, so my balance is poor, and I have limited use of my right leg and foot.

The most frustrating thing is that I’m sitting here as one of my best friends has had the best fishing of his life catching exceptionally large speckled trout, and I have not been able to join him. I’ve written before about what it is I love about fishing, and I think now at this point, it might be time for me to revisit that due to my current situation.

I used to say that my favorite thing about fishing was the anticipation of going. Now I’d say my favorite thing might just be getting the opportunity to go. We give each other opportunities throughout our lives.

As a coach of high school sports, I have always told my athletes to make the most of every situation, to do the thing that you like to do, and get the most out of it. That is valid for young athletes because, by doing so, it gives them the best chance of success.

At this point in my life, I’ve found that just wanting to go fishing and getting the most out of it would be the thing I would like the most. It’s the thing that I miss the most in my life right now. I don’t know when I’m going to be able to be on a boat right now. It would be kind of dangerous and I would not want to put anyone in a difficult spot. There is some equipment out there that’s supposed to help with holding a rod, I’ve been talking about getting some, but right now it just is not working out.

Capt. Gordon watches the Havelock Rams boys lacrosse team, whom he coaches, from the sidelines (photo: reprinted with permission).

I miss the time being with my friends on the boat, or in the stream, or just talking about fishing. That’s tough to get used to being without. Maybe you know, I’ve been doing this for a long time, and because of that, most of my friendships revolve around fishing, the act of fishing, or talking about fishing. And right now, we don’t have a lot to talk about. So unfortunately, I’ve kind of lost track of some my friends. I don’t blame them. They have things to do, as do we all, and I’m trying to stay in touch with them as they also are trying to stay in touch with me, but it’s difficult because it’s not the same.

As I’ve been writing this very column I’ve had to adjust my writing style from what used to be, sit down and hammer away and type a whole article in a very short period of time, to struggling with using a voice-to-text keyboard and editing with only one hand. You’ll have to be the judge of whether this is any good, this will be the first column I have submitted that I had not already written previously.

I would give anything to be able to be on the boat right now with the wind blowing through my hair (what there is of it), feel the sun on my face, going out with a friend and trying to pursue our favorite gamefish. But right now, all I can do is keep working on my physical therapy and trying to get better every day.

As I reflect on this past year, I have to thank all the people in my life who have helped me: therapists, doctors, friends, family members and the athletes and coaches I work with. They have stood by my side and have not allowed me to feel sorry for myself and get mad at the world. Yes, it’s difficult, but I’m trying every day.

Capt. Gordon with the Havelock Rams lacrosse team (photo: reprinted with permission).

I have received offers to go on boats everywhere between Cape Cod and Florida. Hopefully, I can make the most of some of those offers before too long. As Thoreau told us, “Be true to your work, your word, and your friends.” Maybe soon I’ll figure out how to actually catch a fish with one hand and see what that looks like.

It appears that what I used to say that I enjoyed about fishing — the anticipation of going fishing — is still the same, because I’m still anticipating the opportunity to go again. Hopefully, that wait won’t be too long.

You’ll be seeing me out there again before too long. I’m not sure exactly when, but I’m doing my best.

Gordon Churchill is a lifetime angler and longtime guide on the North Carolina coast. He has written about fishing in various publications for more 30 years. He is the author of two books, "Flyfishing The Southeast Coast" and "Speckled Trout In The Surf." He currently resides in Carteret County.